Four Out of Five

Image Description: Several waffles shaped like hearts, including one where the waffle is gone but the heart remains.
Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Who else remembers the old ad for Trident Gum “Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum?” Not sure about you, but I’ve always wondered about that fifth dentist. Did that dentist have solid evidence that showed Trident made no difference to the health of teeth and gums or actually made things worse? Was the dentist receiving kickbacks from Wrigley to support a competing gum instead? Was he/she/they just too busy with patients to complete the survey? Or had something unforeseen happened, akin to a commercial that aired during the 2003 Superbowl?

Regardless of what the realities of the dentist survey were or how that commercial has not held up well, the slogan’s impact on how we think about reviews continues. How seemingly wonderful it would be for any artist to have 80% of their audience connect with what they are trying to say. As simple as quantitative feedback sounds, artists are often more focused on qualitative feedback. Sometimes the feedback can be a needed reality check. Sometimes it can provide valuable information. Sometimes it can help give a boost in confidence. Sometimes it can be downright detrimental. A lot depends on where we are in the process, the regard we have for who is giving the feedback, whether the feedback was solicited or not, and even how we open we are to feedback at that particular time.

Whether we want it or not, we face feedback all the time. If you are a student, it could come from a teacher or fellow students. If you are participating in a fellowship or work-in-progress program, it could come from those who attend.  If you apply for a grant, a competition, or a curated show, it could come from a panel of reviewers who presumably have some expertise. If you put your work out into the world, it could come from anybody really, from professional critics to someone who randomly comes across your work and wants to share their point of view about it.

When I first started writing about creative resilience, I thought of resilience as wearing strength and fortitude like a shield against all negative forces. Yet, as I have lived with the concept over the past few years, I have come to believe that resilience is not about fighting or eliminating negative forces, but about accepting they exist and finding ways to reframe them or navigate through them. That very much includes feedback.

Feedback is something I’ve written about previously on this blog, spoken about in the context of documentary filmmaking, and devote a whole chapter to in the Creative Resilience book. I have given feedback, facilitated feedback for others, and received it in different ways. Since the book came out, I have gotten feedback from audiences at readings, from folks who have interviewed me about the book, and from those who have read it. Here’s a sampling of recent reviews that have come in via Amazon, GoodReads, and other places:

“For anyone who has created something, knows that there are moments when you struggle to align your vision to your reality and this book takes the approach of self reflection, insights and personal experiences from artists all over the world on some of the most common struggles an artist experiences. It is well narrated and easy to read.”

“This book couldn’t have come about at a better time for me. I have been struggling since entering parenthood to hold on to my art making practice and spark. When you put so much energy into other areas of your life, sometimes things that are important to you get set aside. When this happens, you might lose confidence in your ability or question whether you should put time into creating. This book gives some much needed guidance to people in a similar situation as me! It provides inspiring tools to help set your creativity and ambitions in motion again.”

“This book should be required reading for anyone who struggles with procrastination in their creative pursuits! The book is very thoughtful & well-written. The author goes chapter by chapter through the many challenges that can derail anyone trying to complete a project & gives real solutions for how to overcome many of the stumbling blocks in the creative process. The advice is applicable to anyone trying to pursue a creative endeavor regardless of whether that endeavor is a hobby or a career.”

“Truly a gem -- an honest look into the MANY ways to live a creative life. The examples from artists and creatives in multiple disciplines is refreshing, and one or more are bound to relate to your own journey.” 

“I found this book to be really hit and miss. There were some really useful and insightful messages, but there was also a lot of waffle! Unfortunately the 'waffle' outweighed the good!”

Which one of these reviews do you think I focused on the most? Ding! Ding! Ding! Dentist #5. I have no idea who this person is, but honestly it was all I could think about for a few days. They say it is dangerous to care much about reviews, especially on GoodReads which is where this one came in. But I overanalyzed it, especially the word “waffle.” What did this person mean by that? Waffle, to me, implies inability to make a decision. But it also makes me think that it was about my tendency to walk a line between gentle suggestions and prescription. I offer some ideas to help navigate various creative process challenges, but I also acknowledge that there is no one size fits all solution. My goal is to get readers to step back from the challenge and find their own solutions rather than being forced to think that there is only one way forward. We must all navigate our own path. If that is waffling, then pour me some syrup (sorry, dentists!)

After the initial sting of this review, I was able to step back and acknowledge my own vulnerabilities, as well as the reality of making art for an audience. Not everything you make is for everybody. Some people may not interpret your work in the way you intended. It may not resonate with everyone. Some people may downright dislike it. And, while negative response can make you sad or mad for a moment, it does not define your art or you as an artist. It is impossible to avoid negative feedback. That will always be there, whether it is coming from others or even from yourself. Better to accept that feedback is there and to continue to make your art in spite of negative feedback and any other obstacles that will surely come your way as you go through the process of making art.

This experience was mirrored by a recent trip I made out to California and Nevada. Travel is a novel experience that many artists can benefit from - whether it is a few hours escape to a place in your own city that is still new to you, a full-fledged sabbatical or retreat, or a one-week vacation, which is what I had. The first part of the trip was full of creative inspiration that included meeting up with fellow filmmakers, visiting a museum, listening to an audiobook while on a road trip, and enjoying foods that southern California excels at — Persian, Mexican, and fresh fruit smoothies. Most of all, I enjoyed nature – seeing colors, textures, and shades of light over desert, hills, valleys, canyons, and lakes – yes Badwater Basin has become a lake again after California’s unprecedented rains of the past year. 

Image Description: Three landscapes of Death Valley, including gray and brown rocky hills against sunrise colors of blue, orange, and yellow, and salt flats that are temporarily filled with water, providing a mirror image of snow-capped peaks in the distance. Photos by the author.

After experiencing what I could of Death Valley where many roads are still closed due to damage from the rains, I decided to return to my hotel to visit the pool. As careful as I had been on twisty roads and scrambling hikes, I did not think I needed to be as careful on the five minute walk from my room to the pool. And that’s exacty when I slipped, falling face first on the pavement. Bloodied and muddied, I never made it to the pool. There was no real doctor within a 90-minute drive and it would be dark within an hour. I managed to get a next day appointment with a dentist in Las Vegas since my two top front teeth took the brunt of the fall. I headed straight to Vegas the next morning, foregoing a planned trip to a ghost town and open air desert sculpture park that were high on my must-see list.  My culinary adventures were also over, as I had to switch to an all-liquid diet while my teeth healed. In fact, I was so overwhelmed by the experience that I had little energy left to find interesting things to do during the day in Vegas. I just rested in my hotel room and read between dental visits. I somehow saved up my energy to see a Cirque du Soleil show and the U2 concert which had precipitated the trip in the first place. Both shows did not disappoint, as they bridged complex technological precision with showmanship and artistry. For a few hours, I was able to forget my pain and just enjoy art.

I felt all the feels on this trip. My immediate reaction to the fall was anger, shame, fear, and bitterness. Even as I sat a few days with those emotions, the visits to the dentist and a dental surgeon indicated that my teeth are resilient. The X-rays showed no breakage, just possibly a bruised ligament. Now it was time to allow for some natural healing and follow up with a dentist back home in a few weeks to see if any further procedure would be needed. While I don’t know what that outcome will be, knowing that already gave me a lift. This was not the perfect trip, but it had enough in it that was novel and fun. My challenge was to appreciate the four-fifths of the trip that was amazing while not ignoring the reality that one-fifth of it was not. Just as I can review my photos of the adventure for an instant boost of memories and joy, so too can I return to the positive reviews in moments when external validation is helpful. Four out of five ain’t bad. Being challenged both by the challenge itself and the capacity to traverse the challenge is what life and art are all about. And, even if no dentist would recommend me trying to eat a waffle just yet, I can still fully embrace my waffling ways with pride.


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